Gay Life

I've always envied those families who accept their gay children and support their lifestyle. I had the kind of family who wanted me to be who they wanted me to be...not who I really was, so accepting a gay lifestyle would not have been in their realm of acceptance. I grew up in a small town of 8,000, and left home when I was 24 years old...not because I wanted to, but because I found out I was gay, and knew I couldn't survive in a small town. Like the line in the "Cheers" theme, "everybody knows your name".....everybody knew mine, and everything about me....except my deep, dark secret. The year was 1967, and coming out of the "closet" wasn't "fashionable". In fact, I lived in mortal fear that my family and friends would find out, so I moved to Chicago, where I could hide the truth from everyone who loved me. In the beginning, I went back home to visit frequently, but eventually my visits became few and far between, because I couldn't be "me". My family interpreted my behavior as my not caring about them, but the truth would have been extremely painful for them to accept. After years of hiding, I finally blurted out the truth to my sister, who eventually disclosed it to my mother. Needless to say, she didn't take it well. In fact, she passed away in 1989, and in her will she wrote, "I leave nothing to Kelly until she turns her life around." I don't mean to paint a bad picture of my mom, because she was one of the most wonderful, honest people I knew. She was very loving and giving and loved me more than life itself, but she couldn't accept the gay lifestyle, so our relationship was strained during the last years of her life, something I'll always regret. The sad fact is, no one asks to be gay. I know I sure didn't. Who would want a lifestyle that forces you to lie, and pretend you're someone other than who you really are? I share the same belief my gay brothers and sisters share....that gays are born, not made.

When Ellen DeGeneres "came out" on her show, in 1997, the world was stunned, and the truth almost ruined her career. No one would give her a job, and she almost went broke. To say I admire Ellen's courage is an understatement. I credit her with bringing the gay lifestyle to the forefront and giving other entertainers the courage to come out publicly. Way to go, Ellen! Coming "out" is easier for gays and lesbians these days. No one wants to be accused of being "politically incorrect", so the world's acceptance of the gay and lesbian lifestyle seems to be getting better, although we still have a long way to go. There will always be those who are repulsed by us, no matter how far we think we've come, and some who contend they're all right with it, even though they aren't. We never know what's said behind closed doors, which is where the real feelings come out. At least we're gaining ground on gay marriage, and that's a step in the right direction. I lost my partner of 25 years in October, and wasn't entitled to receive her social security. If gay marriage had been legalized in my state, perhaps it would have been awarded to me. As of this writing, only five states recognize gay marriage, so you see, we still have a long way to go. Keep fighting the good fight, my friends. Perhaps we'll get there yet.